When people look at me they might not think I'm a mom, a college graduate, fun, pretty, etc... but they sure as hell don't know what I hold inside. My friends [and some who aren't friends] know I'm pretty blunt...also maybe a little intimidating. But they also know that I'm a genuinely caring person who would do anything for someone I thought needed help - especially family and friends.
I've been through a lot the past few years and I always say it's made me stronger. It has. The only thing I ask from people is not to LIE to me, and don't blame me for your mistakes. This is probably going to turn into a rant but I'm not a very happy person right now.. and that doesn't happen very often.
For the past 4 weeks I've worked very hard on potty training Emry (accomplished), working, fighting with Emry on bedtime, looking at grad programs...etc. I transport Emry to and from daycare, I feed her, I play with her ALL the time and I make it a point to go out and do something fun with her. BUT Emry is also suppose to see her father...which she does once every-other week....but this is suppose to be every week and every other weekend ordeal - yes, we have a parenting plan. I always said that he could choose not to see her and leave us alone but he chose to see Emry.... Emry deserves a father and she does love her father, in which I'm thankful.
BUT, for the past 4 weeks he has lied to me! He has lied to me about working graveyard on the weekends. I'm thankful that I get the extra time with Emry but when I do have an opportunity to go out and do something but am not able to because "I THINK" he's a work...it really pisses me off. Considering the fact I find out third party pisses me off more. WHY? Why lie to me? If you don't want to see your kid, then don't! Just say it. If you rather go to a party, just say it. It's better than lying!
Another thing, Father's Day is for dads. Yes, Dads - not moms. I could understand if you are working, but if you are choosing to PLAY IN A SOFTBALL TOURNY instead it's absolutely ridiculous! And then when you say "It's not like a 2 year old can make me breakfast" it makes me "want" to punch you. It the simple fact that it's a FULL day you can spend with YOUR child.
In the long run, this situation does not surprise me and that's the sad part. Time after time I tell myself things are improving, but I'm just lying to myself. I should never think it will get better, some people will remain childish their entire lives and never put their priorities first.
When you have a child, they are your number one priority. They are not toys to show off and they sure as hell don't deserve to be avoided. I'm tired of putting up with this crap..I feel as it will never end.
Thats it, thanks for reading. :)
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